This email brought back so many feelings for me. However - the ones that immediately won out were praise and thankfulness. I know so many who have walked in these shoes - and some who are in them now. My hope is that by sharing this you realize you are indeed worthy and today IS a new day.
Remember ... we serve an AWESOME GOD. Enjoy ... :)
The silence. The rejection. The harsh words. The absence of intimacy. The questions. The lack of answers. The hurt.
Every week I get at least one letter or comment on my blog about a marriage in trouble. My heart aches for anyone in a marriage that’s struggling. I’ve been there. Many of us have.
But I think the deepest hurt comes when one spouse resigns while the other is still trying. There is a panic that arises to somehow make the other person wake up, stop their resignation, and help you fix this relationship.
Obviously a situation like this is much more complicated than simple answers on a simple blog can provide. But might I give you one stepping stone upon which to stand on, stop the panic and balance yourself today?
Decide today that you are worthy.
That’s the first step.
Because you are. Worthy. You may not feel like it. But a quick glimpse at Psalm 139 assures me, you are. And I’d rather depend on the solid truth of God than the roller coaster of fickle feelings.
You are beautiful and captivating and attractive and smart and capable. But if you are in a relationship full of unmet expectations, unresolved issues, and frustrating communication, I suspect you feel a little less than all I’ve described.
Broken down relationships can really break down a woman.
And if you’re anything like me, when you feel broken down those around you get your worst. Then upon all the hurt and anxiety you layer on regret, shame, and the feeling that you’ve lost yourself. You’ve lost that girl inside you that used to be so positive and happy and ready to take on the world.
Can I whisper a tender truth to you? The only way to recapture her is to come up for air and remember you are worthy.
Then you can act worthy.
And step aside from the emotional yuck to make some level headed decisions. Get a plan. Talk to wise people who love you and will walk this tough journey with you.
Draw some boundaries with an uncooperative husband. Pray like crazy for clear discernment.
Remember you can’t control how he acts and reacts, but you can control how you act and react.
Reclaim who you are.
In a strange kind of way I had to do this yesterday during a scuba diving trip with my family. Everything was going fine until we saw what we all thought was a baby shark. And then that “baby shark” bumped into my daughter’s head. She did what most 18-year-old’s would do when her head gets bumped by a “shark.”
She remained completely calm.
Oh I kid.
She did nothing of the sorts. She screamed so loud I could hear her despite the fact we were 30 feet under water. Now that is a loud scream.
Then the creature bumped her head a second time.
And y’all, you would have thought the thing ripped her arm off. Which it did not.
(We later found out it wasn’t a shark and didn’t even have teeth.)
She completely panicked and attacked me ripping my mask and regulator off. Since she jumped on me from behind and I didn’t see her coming, I totally thought the baby shark’s mama had grabbed me.
For what was just a few seconds but felt like hours, I was convinced I would drown. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t remember how to be calm.
Though I’m normally a calm person, I was anything but until the dive master came to me. He wasn’t panicked. And he saw the same “shark” as us. He was calm and reassuring and reminded me to put my regulator in and breathe. He then helped us all ascend to the surface.
Masters are good like that.
Later on the boat, I realized how panic completely changes people — makes them act in ways they normally never would.
And it’s the same whether you’re under water in the ocean or under water in a relationship.
So, today breathe. Steady yourself. Keep your eyes on the Master.
I pray your relationship survives. I pray it with every fiber of my being. But if it doesn’t, I pray most of all that the beautiful woman you are rises above all the yuck still clinging tightly to the only opinion that matters — the One who forever calls you worthy.
(Lysa Terkeurst)
Later :)
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
#MARCHPHOTOADAY: 1st - 15th
Yep. I allowed Miss Priss to talk me into doing another photo challenge. We've been participating in the #marchphotoaday challenge this month, and while she's all about photos of everything, I'm doing my best just to keep up! So I hope you'll at least take the time to browse . . .
3.1: UP
The 3 flights of steps I take twice a day.
3.2: FRUIT
Two of my favorites.
3.3: YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD
3.4: BEDSIDE
A promise.
3.5: A SMILE
My buddy Will.
3.6: 5 PM
Surgery day = plenty of time to read.
3.7: SOMETHING YOU WORE
My favorite throwback sandals.
3.8: WINDOW
A rainy view from my office.
3.9: RED
My 'red' cup of go-go juice.
3.10: LOUD
Taken at our house a while back, but extremely loud.
3.11: SOMEONE YOU TALKED TO TODAY
I talk to Him every day.
3.12: FORK
3.13: A SIGN
From a birds eye view.
3.14: CLOUDS
On a clear sunny day.
3.15: CAR
My precious Bella - hiding from the hail today.
So? What do think?
Until later :)
Disappointment(s)
I wish I were a consistent blogger, but I'm not. There's just never enough hours in a day, huh? But when I come across devotionals that say 'Share me, please!' they serve two purposes - for me anyway. Sharing the wisdom of others and also staying in touch. With that being said, enjoy :)
This is a reminder of the beautiful way God redeems. He redeems in the moment with doses of perspective. And He redeems, sometimes years later, with second chances. The same opportunity can come back full circle. Amazing how that happens. Praying that your full circle comes soon.
I said yes and threw out a spiritually sound answer.
And then the next day happened.
The day where a really big disappointment whacked me upside the head and sent my heart sinking. I’d been asked to speak at a really big event — one of the biggest of my life — and then things fell apart.
Invited — thrilled — excited — honored-included –
turned into
Uninvited — bummed — sad — disillusioned — left out.
And while I still have solid spiritual perspectives to hold on to, my flesh just needs a minute to say, “stink!”
Because sometimes things do stink.
But right when I wanted say, “stink” a few more times, I spotted a bowl that’s been sitting on my dining room table for weeks now. My daughter found some caterpillars a while back, put them in a bowl, and has been holding them hostage ever since. I mean she’s been lovingly admiring them underneath a layer of cellophane.
Wouldn’t you know that those caterpillars formed cocoons inside that unlikely environment.
And then today, as I was muttering, “stink” I glanced across that bowl and sucked the word back down my throat.
The cocoons were empty.
Expecting glorious butterflies, I had to chuckle when I got right over the bowl and closely examined the product of my little girl’s hopes for new life.
Moths.
I just had to chuckle. Yet another thing in my day that wasn’t quite right.
Or was it?
When she spotted the moths, she was beyond thrilled. Grabbing my hand, she led me outside, ripped off the plastic barrier, and watched the beauty of tiny wings beating — beating — beating and finally fluttering into flight.
Hmmmm.
As I watched her sheer delight with the rich evidence of life before her, she couldn’t have cared less if it was a moth or butterfly. A creature that once only knew the dirt of the earth had just been given the gift of flight. Reaching — soaring-up — up — and away.
And with that, this simple creature pulled the corners of my mouth up into a smile.
Disappointment only stings as long as you let it.
... but we are only like clay jars that hold the treasure. This is to show that the amazing power we have is from God, not from us. We have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated. We often don’t know what to do, but we don’t give up. We are persecuted, but God does not leave us. We are hurt sometimes, but we are not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:7-9
We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him. These are the people God chose, because that was his plan. Romans 8:28
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Until later :)
This is a reminder of the beautiful way God redeems. He redeems in the moment with doses of perspective. And He redeems, sometimes years later, with second chances. The same opportunity can come back full circle. Amazing how that happens. Praying that your full circle comes soon.
The other day a friend asked me if I ever get disappointed.I said yes and threw out a spiritually sound answer.
And then the next day happened.
The day where a really big disappointment whacked me upside the head and sent my heart sinking. I’d been asked to speak at a really big event — one of the biggest of my life — and then things fell apart.
Invited — thrilled — excited — honored-included –
turned into
Uninvited — bummed — sad — disillusioned — left out.
And while I still have solid spiritual perspectives to hold on to, my flesh just needs a minute to say, “stink!”
Because sometimes things do stink.
But right when I wanted say, “stink” a few more times, I spotted a bowl that’s been sitting on my dining room table for weeks now. My daughter found some caterpillars a while back, put them in a bowl, and has been holding them hostage ever since. I mean she’s been lovingly admiring them underneath a layer of cellophane.
Wouldn’t you know that those caterpillars formed cocoons inside that unlikely environment.
And then today, as I was muttering, “stink” I glanced across that bowl and sucked the word back down my throat.
The cocoons were empty.
Expecting glorious butterflies, I had to chuckle when I got right over the bowl and closely examined the product of my little girl’s hopes for new life.
Moths.
I just had to chuckle. Yet another thing in my day that wasn’t quite right.
Or was it?
When she spotted the moths, she was beyond thrilled. Grabbing my hand, she led me outside, ripped off the plastic barrier, and watched the beauty of tiny wings beating — beating — beating and finally fluttering into flight.
Hmmmm.
As I watched her sheer delight with the rich evidence of life before her, she couldn’t have cared less if it was a moth or butterfly. A creature that once only knew the dirt of the earth had just been given the gift of flight. Reaching — soaring-up — up — and away.
And with that, this simple creature pulled the corners of my mouth up into a smile.
Disappointment only stings as long as you let it.
... but we are only like clay jars that hold the treasure. This is to show that the amazing power we have is from God, not from us. We have troubles all around us, but we are not defeated. We often don’t know what to do, but we don’t give up. We are persecuted, but God does not leave us. We are hurt sometimes, but we are not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:7-9
We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him. These are the people God chose, because that was his plan. Romans 8:28
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Until later :)
Friday, March 2, 2012
The Shadow of a Doubt
WOW... LOVE the honesty of this devotion ... just had to share it.
Sunday mornings. I awake early, long before the family stirs, the sunrise flickers, or the paper plops on the driveway. Let the rest of the world sleep in. I don’t. Sunday’s my big day, the day I stand before a congregation of people who are willing to swap thirty minutes of their time for some conviction and hope.
Most weeks I have ample to go around. But occasionally I don’t. (Does it bother you to know this?) Sometimes in the dawn-tinted, pre-pulpit hours, the seeming absurdity of what I believe hits me. The fear that God isn’t. The fear that “why?” has no answer. The valley of the shadow of doubt.
To one degree or another we all venture into the valley. In the final pages of Luke’s gospel, the physician-turned-historian dedicated his last chapter to answering one question: how does Christ respond when we doubt him?
For both the dejected Emmaus bound disciples (Luke 24:13-35) and the frightened upper room disciples (Luke 24:36-49): A meal is served, the Bible is taught, the disciples find courage, and we find two practical answers to the critical question, what would Christ have us do with our doubts?
His answer? Touch my body and ponder my story. We still can, you know. We can still touch the body of Christ. We’d love to touch his physical wounds and feel the flesh of the Nazarene. Yet when we brush up against the church, we do just that. “The church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself ” (Eph. 1:23 NLT).
Christ distributes courage through community; he dissipates doubts through fellowship. He never deposits all knowledge in one person but distributes pieces of the jigsaw puzzle to many. When you interlock your understanding with mine, and we share our discoveries . . . When we mix, mingle, confess, and pray, Christ speaks.
~ Max Lucado
This level of raw honesty and truth is exactly why I love worshipping and gathering at Grace. And to be part of an amazing small group on top of that is absolutely twofold. Blessed without a doubt :)
Soak it up!
Until later :)
Most weeks I have ample to go around. But occasionally I don’t. (Does it bother you to know this?) Sometimes in the dawn-tinted, pre-pulpit hours, the seeming absurdity of what I believe hits me. The fear that God isn’t. The fear that “why?” has no answer. The valley of the shadow of doubt.
To one degree or another we all venture into the valley. In the final pages of Luke’s gospel, the physician-turned-historian dedicated his last chapter to answering one question: how does Christ respond when we doubt him?
For both the dejected Emmaus bound disciples (Luke 24:13-35) and the frightened upper room disciples (Luke 24:36-49): A meal is served, the Bible is taught, the disciples find courage, and we find two practical answers to the critical question, what would Christ have us do with our doubts?
His answer? Touch my body and ponder my story. We still can, you know. We can still touch the body of Christ. We’d love to touch his physical wounds and feel the flesh of the Nazarene. Yet when we brush up against the church, we do just that. “The church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself ” (Eph. 1:23 NLT).
Christ distributes courage through community; he dissipates doubts through fellowship. He never deposits all knowledge in one person but distributes pieces of the jigsaw puzzle to many. When you interlock your understanding with mine, and we share our discoveries . . . When we mix, mingle, confess, and pray, Christ speaks.
~ Max Lucado
This level of raw honesty and truth is exactly why I love worshipping and gathering at Grace. And to be part of an amazing small group on top of that is absolutely twofold. Blessed without a doubt :)
Soak it up!
Until later :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)