Thursday, May 24, 2012

What about your 'mean girl'?



Yeah, I know. Haven't blogged in a while and between you and I, for the life of me I can't figure out what keeps this empty nester so busy. How in the world did I get it all done when I had little ones underfoot?? That's one excuse. The other is that even when I find myself considering a post I wonder if I have anything worth sharing.

Just some randoms today:

I am in the most amazing small group. A group of couples living life and striving to strengthen the marriages that God has blessed us with. I love couples who are real, honest and not afraid to share their thoughts and opinions. Great, great, great group!

Next, my son is home for the weekend!! YAY ME! The excuse is that our only granddaughter is graduating from high school on Saturday. Wow! That makes it so real . . . But if truth be known, I think he was a tad-bit homesick ;) At least this momma chooses to think that.

Update on the Nest. I think the Mister and I were both a little worried that the silence of the empty nest would eventually get to us. The silence of the kids being gone took some getting used to. Then came the loss of Simba and the added silence after those little paws stopped click-clacking across the hardwood. So yeah, it's gotten extra quiet around the Nest over the past several months. But you know what? I'd have to say we're adapting :) Actually, we've spent the past couple of weeks having serious discussions about dropping our cable service. I know, right?? That would scare most couples to death. We've decided we like our time together and I think we're almost there . . .

That's my personal quota for today, so I'll finish the post with sharing another devotional. Sort of cuts to the chase about the mean girl issue. And FYI - it doesn't stop at high school. But you knew that didn't you?



I looked at the text message in complete disbelief. Why couldn’t this person see how hurtful they were being? How could they be so insensitive?

I don’t know who made up the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Either they had nerves of steel or they lived on a deserted island with no other people. Because heavens, not only do words hurt me but they make me want to fight back and be mean too.

Have you ever had a little situation with someone where you really felt you were right and they were wrong? Or at least you could make a really good case for your side of things?

Oh how I have this burning need to state my case in these kinds of situations. It’s like an inner attorney just rises up, desperate to defend my rights and get the other person to see things my way. This is pretty normal, right?

Yes. But normal doesn’t always mean good. Especially when it goes against a few truths in the Bible -a few inconvenient truths when I’m wanting to be mean too…

*Colossians 2: 6-7 reminds me, “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”

This is an inconvenient truth: I should live rooted in Jesus’ teaching and overflowing with thankfulness. The opposite of this is for me to be rooted in self-centered opinion and overflowing with grumbling.

There is another side to this issue besides my own. I need to ask God to show me things from this other person’s side and gain a different perspective. In doing so, I will be strengthened and taught. And I need to be strengthened and taught.

*Colossians 3: 12-14 reminds me, “…as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

This is an inconvenient truth: My job isn’t to fix this person or make them see my side of things. My job is to obey God by offering an extension of the forgiveness I’ve been given.

I am dearly loved by God and deeply forgiven for things way worse than this person is doing right now. So, yes I need to forgive. But forgiveness does not equal instant restoration. I can stay healthy in this situation by remembering forgiveness doesn’t mean giving this person the kind of access in my life that sets me up for destructive patterns. I need to be loving but I also need to be wise.

*Colossians 3:17 reminds me, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

This is an inconvenient truth: Everything I do and say tells a story of who I am serving. If I am acting out of anger and spite, I am serving the father of darkness and spreading his darkness. If I am honoring to the Lord with my actions, I am serving to further the name of Jesus and spreading His light.

At the end of the day, honoring God leads to good things. Anything else leads to confusion, emotional exhaustion and a lack of good things.

When I was processing this situation with my husband he said something that brought much clarity to my mind. “Lysa, you know when you’ve taken the high road, God blesses you. You’ve seen these blessings over and over as you make choices that honor God. So choose a blessing today and save yourself the emotional turmoil of trying to prove you’re right.”

He’s a smart man.

So, today I’m choosing a blessing like Deuteronomy 28:1-5 teaches, “And if you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the field. Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock. Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl.”

I know this isn’t easy stuff. I’m having to live it today in the midst of feeling a little hurt. But I’m also feeling a little more at peace being able to see another perspective-a healthier perspective-a Biblical perspective. And I’m really excited about the blessings that are surely coming. After all, I desperately I need my kneading bowl blessed y’all.

Wishing you and yours a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend!

Until later :)

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